Holiday Conversations

do you have things that you either can’t or don’t want to talk about when you get together with your family? and by family, I’m not talking about the spouse and kids. i’m more talking about how we as adults relate to our parents, in-laws, and extended family. this is especially an issue when you’ve dramatically changed relative to who you were growing up. i feel that way, having grown up in the south, with the system of values you might imagine. removed from my upbringing by over 20 years of life experience, i now feel like my values and perspective are fairly radically different. religion and politics top the list of taboo topics for me.

…so sometimes getting together with family is a little weird. i certainly love my parents, and all my extended family. i enjoy every moment of the times i get to spend with them. i just feel a little weird and isolated with the knowledge that i’m not really the same person, and it’s probably best to just not talk about it.

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One Comment

  1. Posted April 22, 2010 at 12:30 pm | Permalink

    I understand what you mean. Granted, I haven’t had 20+ years of life experience since my upbringing (you could say i’m still in the middle of my upbringing at 23 years old), but my views, as you know, have changed dramatically throughout my young adult years. It can definitely be a little awkward when holiday conversations turn toward the taboo topics because the extended family, for the most part, has no clue that we are in disagreement in areas in which cohesion relies on complete agreement (i.e. religion). So I certainly feel that isolation. It’s just too bad that “tolerence” is a bad word when it comes to the holy, inspired words of God. Imagine Sunday afternoon lunch at my house: everyone wants to talk about how great the sermon was, and I’m thinking to myself, “I have something to say, but you’re not looking to be challenged, you’re looking to be affirmed.” And if I say anything contrary, my mom cries herself to sleep every night and my dad tries to fill me with the fear of damnation. You know what I mean.


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